No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
