hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
