you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize