Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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