Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
