Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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