Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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