just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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