Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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