brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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