is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
