some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
