Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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