White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
