there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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