Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
