I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Randomize
