He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Hippo gnu deer
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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