So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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