I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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