i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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