I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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