Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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