Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
