drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
