marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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