you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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