Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
