he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
