so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
