I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
