True but thats because hes a fetus.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
