OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
