biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
