Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
