i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
