CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
