i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
