I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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