she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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