super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
the condom got lost in my hair
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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