update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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