I don't remember. Are we still dating?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize