I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
