I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
