I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You are the jesus of drinking
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
