I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
