Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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