you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
nutella sex= disaster
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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