apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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