I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
