ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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