Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I believe in your delicious
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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