no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
