They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
