Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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