My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
